A New Me

Hey everyone! Thanks for coming to visit me. My name is Nicki, and I've always struggled with my health and obesity. Since high school, every time I've envisioned my future, I've always thought I'd have my health in order by the time I'm 30. Well, this past Monday was my 29th birthday, and I decided that while I don't have a lot of time left to make my dreams come true, it's not impossible, and it's a challenge I'm willing and ready to take on!

   

A little bit about me... I live with my boyfriend, Myles, in a house I bought earlier this year. We are dog parents to two Labrador Retrievers, Winnie (yellow) and Bella (black), and we are planning to have puppies in the next year or so. I am a marketing assistant for my family's company, which makes metal fixtures for pharmacies and retail companies, so I mostly work behind a desk or sometimes at home. I love to cook and bake, I love to journal and plan, and I love board games and crafting of all kinds. I'm a homebody. Once I get into the routine, I love to work out and feel strong. I love a clean house, but struggle with the chores that make a house clean. I've always been obsessed with Disney; I was an annual passholder up until the pandemic hit, and I miss my regular Disneyland trips so much. I love my life, and want to be able to enjoy it to the fullest, but there's one thing that keeps holding me back, and I'm so ready to change that. 

When I write my blogs, I will probably be including some VIPs in my narrative. I've already introduced Myles and my dogs, but I'm also very close with my parents, Tom and Cindy. Another VERY important person to me is Marie, who I will either refer to as my best friend or my sister. Technically, I'm an only child, but in the last few years, Marie has become a part of our family, and that's all you need to know! You'll get to meet my other friends and family as time goes on, but these guys will be there for all of it. They are my foundation for everything in my life, and are my biggest cheerleaders.  

Today, I weigh 356.9 pounds. On a BMI chart, that is DEEP into the "morbidly obese" category. My biggest motivation is my future. I want a family of my own, I want to be able to not only have children, but to also be there for them long into their own adulthood. I want to be able to look back on my life and be proud of my accomplishments, and I don't want to cringe when I look at pictures of myself.  

It's also very important to me that you know that I love myself. Not to say that I don't struggle with my self-esteem, because we all do, but there are so many people like me out there that truly hate themselves. While I do hate that I got myself this heavy and unhealthy, I do not hate the person that I am. A lot of people try to lose weight because they hate themselves and think they will love themselves once they look hot or feel healthier, but I truly believe that you aren't going to have a successful weight loss journey unless you are doing it because you love yourself, appreciate your life, and just want to live more of it. I also do not correlate weight with beauty. You can be big and beautiful at the same time, they are not mutually exclusive. These are just some disclaimers that I want to get out in the open because I feel strongly about them!

So, what's my goal? I'm talking the talk, and it sounds like I'm going to walk the walk, but what's my end game? Ultimately, I no longer want to be obese. I don't mind being overweight, because I love being curvy, but I just want to be healthy about it. According to the BMI chart, I would move from "obese" to "overweight" at a weight of about 200 pounds, so that's my goal. After that, if my weight fluctuates to something like 220, I'm fine with that. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin. Now, a goal isn't really a goal if it's not a SMART goal, so let's break it down!

SMART goals are broken down to help you achieve what you set out to do. SMART stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Based. So, here's the breakdown of my goal:

        Specific: I want to shrink from morbidly obese BMI to overweight BMI (357-200)

        Measurable: by weighing in every Monday, taking measurements, and taking daily photos

        Achievable: This is 157 pounds, which is approximately 1/2 pound per day, or almost 3 pounds  

                               per week

        Realistic: by changing my diet, allowing myself moments to enjoy things I love, sticking to a 

                                routine, and exercising daily

        Time-Based: by my 30th birthday, 12/14/2021 (365 days)

I started working toward my goal on my birthday, so as of right now, I'm on Day 7/365. What a great time to start a weight loss journey, right? Just a week and a half before Christmas?! What am I thinking?! I've used the holidays as an excuse far too many times, and I'm not going to let it hold me back this time. And I'm also not going to deny myself just a little of the things I love. I've noticed that when I make a whole bunch of big changes all at once, it sets me up for failure. And if I want to make this change last forever, I need to make sustainable lifestyle changes, which means, if I want a Christmas cookie, I can have a Christmas cookie (I just can't have the dozen cookies that I really want). I also need to balance my diet out with a healthy exercise routine. I love strength training, and I struggle with cardio. Right now, I’m looking for ways to enjoy cardio, because I know it’s good for my overall health and will help me shed the pounds. Strength training gives me so much confidence, so I’m going to keep that in my routine, for sure. 

A few years ago, I was a member at a boot camp and did two of their 6-week challenges, where I lost 50 pounds! It was a combination of cardio and strength training, and it was 50 minutes of nonstop movement almost every day, but the diet part of it was not sustainable for me, and I ended up gaining all of the weight back (and then some). The camp taught me a lot about proper form, diet, and intensity of workouts, which I’ve plan to carry with me in my future exercise routines. I look back on pictures of myself when I had lost those 50 pounds, and I can’t wait to get back feeling that light, both physically and emotionally. It was amazing how much of a difference that made for my mental health, as well as my physical health.

I’ve been weighing myself every day, just to keep myself accountable, but my official weigh-in day is Monday, which is tomorrow, so come back to see how I’ve done in my first week! I’m so excited to be on this journey, and to have such a strong support group around me. I can’t even express how pumped I am to be able to take more photos like the ones above! Talk to you soon!